{"product_id":"shitty-advice-now-usa-graphic-hoodie","title":"Shitty Advice Now USA Graphic Hoodie","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            22.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            23.50 \n                        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                           28.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            27.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            28.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            29.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            30.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            31.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            32.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        \u003ch2\u003eShitty Advice Now — The Professor's Official Hoodie\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause Being Surrounded by Idiots Is Exhausting. You May as Well Be Comfortable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCongratulations, you magnificent genius. You've finally made a decision that doesn't require adult supervision.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the official \u003cstrong\u003eShitty Advice Now Hoodie\u003c\/strong\u003e, featuring the legendary Professor Cornelius Absalom Fitch-Pemberton Bullshiton III — a man who has dedicated his life to studying stupidity, exposing foolish decisions, and wondering how half the population manages to get dressed without written instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Front:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features the Professor himself alongside the Shitty Advice Now logo. A distinguished gentleman with an extraordinary talent for identifying questionable intelligence before its owner even opens their mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Back:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features the bold USA — University of Shitty Advice design, proudly representing the world's finest institution of questionable education and spectacularly bad advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, this hoodie is perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAttending classes at the University of Shitty Advice.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSurviving family gatherings without losing your patience.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSitting through meetings that could've been an email.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKeeping warm while watching society make one ridiculous decision after another.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetting the world know you've officially had enough of everybody's nonsense.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhether you're a student, graduate, faculty member, or simply an exhausted observer of human stupidity, this hoodie belongs in your wardrobe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Professor's Final Advice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"Life is full of people who make astonishingly foolish decisions. You can't avoid them, you can't educate most of them, and apparently correcting their behavior is considered impolite. So you might as well be comfortable while dealing with their nonsense.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShitty Advice Now™\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWear it proudly. Intelligence is optional. Sarcasm is mandatory.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial Merchandise of Professor Cornelius Absalom Fitch-Pemberton Bullshiton III and the USA — University of Shitty Advice.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Soft 80% cotton and 20% polyester blend made from specially spun fibers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 9.4 oz\/yd² (320 g\/m²) fabric\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed pullover fit with drop-shoulder construction\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Self-fabric-lined hood, kangaroo pocket, and ribbed sleeve cuffs\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Preshrunk design with a tear-away label for added comfort\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Line dry\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123606986870,"sku":"26347889121197286384","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":49123607019638,"sku":"16544845086206486068","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607052406,"sku":"19143973653440124412","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Cobalt","offer_id":49123607085174,"sku":"35532352755822184146","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123607117942,"sku":"29908853399963762688","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":49123607150710,"sku":"20748113123027413465","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607183478,"sku":"31047123122791001831","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Cobalt","offer_id":49123607216246,"sku":"18614713860825205638","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123607249014,"sku":"32008576802552523965","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":49123607281782,"sku":"20955097202794542461","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607314550,"sku":"13775437683886777025","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Cobalt","offer_id":49123607347318,"sku":"59231849761620621543","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123607380086,"sku":"47539586519256546911","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":49123607412854,"sku":"23239606476580695785","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607445622,"sku":"24325175871725738669","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Cobalt","offer_id":49123607478390,"sku":"31790037052504509925","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123607511158,"sku":"25454489036353881154","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":49123607543926,"sku":"28988515939590319945","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607576694,"sku":"28781084774743353221","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":49123607609462,"sku":"21442538342708288851","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":49123607642230,"sku":"26242860055432774024","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Pine Green","offer_id":49123607674998,"sku":"12408809621164109165","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Cobalt","offer_id":49123607707766,"sku":"21793481796580151594","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0728\/6063\/1158\/files\/8945069485166494283_2048.jpg?v=1792852001","url":"https:\/\/shop.shittyadvicenow.com\/products\/shitty-advice-now-usa-graphic-hoodie","provider":"U.S.A University Of Shitty Advice","version":"1.0","type":"link"}