{"product_id":"the-professor-s-signature-ball-cap-usa-university-of-shitty-advice","title":"The Professor’s Signature Ball Cap — USA University of Shitty Advice","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Circumference, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            19.00 - 23.00\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Height, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            4.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Visor width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            2.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Visor length, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            6.75 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        \u003ch1\u003eThe Professor’s Signature Ball Cap — USA University of Shitty Advice\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProtect Your Head. We Can't Guarantee What's Inside It.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome people wear hats to make a fashion statement. Others wear them to conceal a bad haircut. And then there are those who desperately need something to protect the few remaining brain cells they possess.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing \u003cstrong\u003eThe Professor’s Signature Trucker Cap\u003c\/strong\u003e, featuring the distinctive signature of Professor Cornelius Absalom Fitch-Bullshiton III, the world's foremost authority on bad advice, brilliant delivery, and questionable results.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis classic trucker-style cap features a structured front, breathable mesh back, curved bill, and adjustable rear closure. Whether you're working, traveling, enjoying the outdoors, or simply observing the extraordinary stupidity of the general population, this cap lets you represent the USA — University of Shitty Advice in style.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause looking intelligent is considerably easier than actually being intelligent.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eProduct Highlights\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExclusive Professor Signature:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features the Professor's signature design prominently displayed on the front.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Trucker Style:\u003c\/strong\u003e A timeless combination of a structured front panel and breathable mesh backing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rear closure allows you to customize the fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCurved Bill:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic everyday style with practical sun protection for your face.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMultiple Color Combinations:\u003c\/strong\u003e Available in a variety of colors to complement your personal style.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEveryday Versatility:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ideal for casual outings, road trips, outdoor activities, and questionable adventures.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA Perfect Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e Great for anyone who appreciates intelligent sarcasm, irreverent humor, and the occasional well-deserved insult.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eA Final Word from the Professor\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"I have spent a lifetime studying the human brain, and I can assure you that what rests beneath a man's hat is considerably more important than the hat itself. Unfortunately, judging by the decisions I witness daily, some people would be better off investing in a helmet.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear the Signature. Represent the University. Question Everything.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUSA — University of Shitty Advice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou can't fix stupid, but you can damn sure give it a diploma.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDiscover the Professor's Collection at ShittyAdviceNow.com\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Adjustable plastic snap closure for a customizable fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Precurved visor with matching underbill and eight-row stitching\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Structured six-panel front with embroidered design and eyelets\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Breathable 100% polyester mesh back; front 60% cotton \/ 40% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Cotton sweatband and sewn-in label; one size fits most\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Use warm water and dish soap and clean spots off your hat. It's not necessary to soak the whole item. For hard to clean spots use a soft bristled brush.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":49209427886198,"sku":"14909189551381592174","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Black \/ Charcoal","offer_id":49209427918966,"sku":"22988209960011870376","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Black \/ White","offer_id":49209427951734,"sku":"14881714943148682956","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal \/ Black","offer_id":49209427984502,"sku":"28267276325787891728","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Heather Grey \/ Black","offer_id":49209428017270,"sku":"20995825480727003408","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Heather Grey \/ White","offer_id":49209428050038,"sku":"20857350659997982182","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Loden","offer_id":49209428082806,"sku":"27469101623587924978","price":45.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0728\/6063\/1158\/files\/6012559697518941790_2048.jpg?v=1793423736","url":"https:\/\/shop.shittyadvicenow.com\/products\/the-professor-s-signature-ball-cap-usa-university-of-shitty-advice","provider":"U.S.A University Of Shitty Advice","version":"1.0","type":"link"}