{"product_id":"the-professor-s-signature-canvas-zipper-tote-bag","title":"The Professor’s Signature Canvas Zipper Tote Bag","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e18\" x 14\" x 4.5\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            18.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Height, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            14.00 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Depth, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            4.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        \u003ch1\u003eThe Professor’s Signature Canvas Zipper Tote Bag\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCarry Your Essentials. Leave Your Common Sense at Home.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEven the world’s most distinguished authority on questionable decisions needs somewhere to carry his belongings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing \u003cstrong\u003eThe Professor’s Signature Canvas Zipper Tote Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e, featuring the official signature of Professor Cornelius Absalom Fitch-Bullshiton III of the USA — University of Shitty Advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis stylish canvas tote combines a classic natural-colored design with contrasting handles and a matching bottom accent. Whether you're heading to work, shopping, traveling, or simply trying to look intelligent in a world determined to make that difficult, this bag makes a statement without saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause good taste is optional, but carrying your shit is mandatory.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eProduct Highlights\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExclusive Professor Signature Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features the Professor's distinctive signature.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Two-Tone Style:\u003c\/strong\u003e Natural canvas appearance with contrasting handles and bottom accents.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eConvenient Zippered Storage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Designed to help keep your belongings organized.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVersatile Everyday Use:\u003c\/strong\u003e Great for shopping, work, travel, books, and daily essentials.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMultiple Color Options:\u003c\/strong\u003e Choose the combination that best suits your questionable personality.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA Unique Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for fans of sarcasm, intelligent humor, and the University of Shitty Advice.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eA Final Word from the Professor\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"An educated individual carries knowledge. A wise individual carries common sense. A dumbass carries neither. Fortunately, this bag has room for all three.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUSA — University of Shitty Advice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou can't fix stupid, but you can damn sure give it a diploma.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShop the Professor's Collection at ShittyAdviceNow.com\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Durable 12 oz. heavy cotton canvas construction\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Spacious 19 L main compartment with full zipper closure\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- External front zipper pocket for quick access\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Comfortable 24.5\" handles with 8.5\" drop for over-the-shoulder wear\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dimensions 18\" W x 14\" H x 4.5\" D; pocket size 9.5\" W x 9\" H\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), *recommended to place a small amount of soap before placing in the washing machine\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Black","offer_id":49209416122486,"sku":"11909661025924114680","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Light Pink","offer_id":49209416155254,"sku":"17391791068094550574","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Maroon","offer_id":49209416188022,"sku":"25397016294211785139","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural","offer_id":49209416220790,"sku":"15104417242559194058","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Navy","offer_id":49209416253558,"sku":"22591706714640323457","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Purple","offer_id":49209416286326,"sku":"12885109567952378604","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Red","offer_id":49209416319094,"sku":"22866725567834991834","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" x 14\" x 4.5\" \/ Natural\/Royal","offer_id":49209416351862,"sku":"46930755134707256648","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0728\/6063\/1158\/files\/11662663761009060992_2048.jpg?v=1793422614","url":"https:\/\/shop.shittyadvicenow.com\/products\/the-professor-s-signature-canvas-zipper-tote-bag","provider":"U.S.A University Of Shitty Advice","version":"1.0","type":"link"}