{"product_id":"the-professors-signature-license-plate-frame","title":"The Professor's Signature License Plate Frame","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n            \u003cthead\u003e\n                \u003ctr\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n                    \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e12.3\" x 6.5\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n                \u003c\/tr\u003e\n            \u003c\/thead\u003e\n            \u003ctbody\u003e\n                \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Width, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            12.25 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n                    \u003ctr\u003e\n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            Height, in\n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                        \n                        \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n                            6.50 \n                        \u003c\/td\u003e\n                                        \n                    \u003c\/tr\u003e\n               \n            \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n        \u003c\/table\u003e\n        \u003ch1\u003eThe Professor's Signature License Plate Frame\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter decades of observing the extraordinary collection of intellectually challenged individuals operating motor vehicles, I've reached a rather disturbing conclusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApparently, they'll give a driver's license to just about anybody who can identify a steering wheel.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery morning, millions of motorists take to the highways, armed with cell phones, questionable judgment, and an astonishing inability to understand what a turn signal is actually for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd somehow, we're all expected to share the road with these people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat's why I'm proud to introduce \u003cstrong\u003eThe Professor's Signature License Plate Frame\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing my distinguished signature and unmistakable pipe-smoking likeness, this elegant frame adds a touch of academic sophistication to your vehicle while quietly reminding the world that at least one person on the highway appreciates the value of common sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhy Your Vehicle Deserves This Distinguished Accessory\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Professor's Signature Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Featuring my exclusive signature and illustrated likeness for a sophisticated, understated appearance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic, Minimalist Styling:\u003c\/strong\u003e A clean design that complements your vehicle without unnecessary distractions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA Touch of Academic Prestige:\u003c\/strong\u003e Represent the Professor and Shitty Advice Now wherever the road takes you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAn Excellent Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for car enthusiasts, sarcastic friends, frustrated commuters, and anyone who's ever questioned how the driver in front of them passed a driving test.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEveryday Personality:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because your vehicle deserves something more interesting than another dealership advertisement.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eA Final Word From the Professor\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"My dear intellectually challenged motorists, let me offer you a small piece of wisdom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe left lane is not your personal sightseeing tour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour turn signal is not an optional accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd that little rectangular object in your hand is a telephone, not a license to operate a two-ton vehicle while watching dancing idiots on the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, I cannot personally revoke the licenses of every dumbass on the highway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBelieve me, I've considered it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut I can offer you this magnificent license plate frame so that, at the very least, your vehicle can display a little intelligence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow purchase the damn thing. And for once in your life, use your turn signal on the way home.\u003c\/strong\u003e\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e— \u003cstrong\u003eProfessor Cornelius Absalom Fitch-Pemberton Bullshiton III\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFounder of Shitty Advice Now™\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eChancellor, USA — University of Shitty Advice\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"We can't fix stupid, but we can damn sure give it a diploma.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.ShittyAdviceNow.com\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ewww.ShittyAdviceNow.com\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Unique shaped design keeps important state license plate information visible.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Bright, crisp full-color printing brings designs to life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Glossy front finish creates a polished look.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Durable white aluminum construction with a silver backing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- One size: 12.3 x 6.5 inches (31.1 x 16.5 cm), with pre-drilled holes; screws not included.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Wipe with a damp cloth, air dry or use a soft, non-abrasive cloth \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"12.3\" x 6.5\" \/ Glossy","offer_id":49128798224502,"sku":"13957839707996391877","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0728\/6063\/1158\/files\/15112020985143434833_2048.jpg?v=1792905026","url":"https:\/\/shop.shittyadvicenow.com\/products\/the-professors-signature-license-plate-frame","provider":"U.S.A University Of Shitty Advice","version":"1.0","type":"link"}